2. Share the good before the bad-always try to find something good about the work someone has done-even if the deliverable or work product is a total failure, you can and should try to at least acknowledge someone’s effort or their time, a good attitude or intentions, or someone’s willingness to attempt the task. * this is not always possible, see below for exception to the rule.
3. Highlight specific examples of why something is bad or wrong-show evidence and be specific-go back to high-school English class here and use ways in which or reasons why. Don’t say “this memo is terrible, you need to re-write it,” instead say, “The overview section is far too broad and the management section is missing key principles.” Or, “I don’t agree with the organization and the focus on operational challenges, I think the memo needs to instead highlight the following three points.”
4. Give concrete actions strategies for improvement of performance – Be explicit and be generous in sharing ways this person can improve-perhaps it’s suggestions of people to talk to or sharing a recent example of a deliverable that was well thought out or well received. If it’s someone’s bad attitude you’re confronting, then give actionable pointers to help that person be perceived as having a good attitude-you might suggest getting to the office earlier in the morning, proactively offering to help out on their teams more often, assuming more responsibility within a given team without having to be asked to do so, or spending more time mentoring junior team members, for example.
As a junior VP on Wall Street, my boss (a managing director) took the reigns of a conference call one day with one of my clients-she essentially ran the entire call without letting me speak or asking my opinion. I didn’t get a word in edge wise – which was insulting given that I was this client’s key liaison. After the call, I was fuming. I immediately gathered my nerve, however, and went into her office and asked her if she had a moment. In a respectful but firm voice, I told her that I’d appreciate it, going forward, if she’d let me lead calls with this particular client given my relationship with them and the fact that I was closer to the specific deal than she was. I emphasized that it undermined my credibility with the client to let her run the call.
She immediately i) understood my point ii) apologized and iii) agreed to let me lead calls going forward. The strategy worked. Here’s why:
- I took it off line. I didn’t interrupt the call and try to take over from her or cause a raucous in front of the client (step 1)
- I was specific in telling her why this was bad/wrong i.e. it undermined my credibility (step 3)
- I proposed a solution: “going forward, I’d appreciate if you’d let me lead the call next time…” instead of marching into her office and asking her why she didn’t let me speak (it didn’t really matter at that point, it was already over, what mattered is that it didn’t happen again) and focused on the future (step 4)
Note that in this case I don’t have a step 2; I don’t think you always need it, especially during “real time” feedback/criticism. If it’s in the heat of the moment, then the important thing is to get your point across effectively. My boss didn’t need me to tell her what a great job she did leading the call in this case.